ROCKNROLL MONDAY: Slippery When Wet - Bon Jovi

 In my house, you know Bon Jovi. Not just because their music is still on the radio at times, but because my dearest mother was quite the fan of Richie Sambora. Regardless, I must admit, I do not know much Bon Jovi beyond the level of hits. Crossroads was perfectly fine for me, all the good ones in one place. 

This album happens to be a big hitmaker, but also has quite the legacy. Some perceive this as the breakthrough of hair metal. It is considered the blueprint of metal becoming something accessible to a pop-radio format. It is 12x platinum, therefore one of the all time best selling albums in the US. Saying you do not like this album will probably get you some pitchforks.

But you know, considering after my Red Hot Chili Peppers "Blood Sugar Sex Magik" review was taken to the extent of people telling me to find another job, I hope everyone is aware I have no fear of your pitchforks whatsoever. No one pays me to write these. This is literally a volunteer perspective I chose to make because I like music and I talk too much. But given "You Give Love a Bad Name" exists on this album, it has to have some other winners.

Some story time as well, some of the world may not realize the cover was not meant to be what it is, although quite iconic now. The original cover shows a woman in a tight yellow tank with a very pink border. Fearing the local record stores would not sell it due to a sexist looking cover, they quickly switched to the new cover. Which is actually a trash bag with the words "Slippery When Wet" drawn into the moisture. If you lived overseas in Japan, you may stumble upon the actual originally planned cover. 

Well we get quite the dramatic introduction with "Let It Rock". Let's get real, a hair metal band cannot make an album without a song about rocking and rolling right? I find it interesting though the intro actually shows a great deal of keyboard work. That might be an organ too. Don't quote me on that. You definitely don't hear Jon sing like this too much anymore. Very anthemic. 

"You Give Love a Bad Name" is one of the best hair metal songs of all time and I will go down fighting. It mastered making anthemic guitar pieces of metal into a great accessible track. The lyrics are relatable to most. I mean, most people HAVE had one bad relationship right?

If you have never heard "Livin' On a Prayer", I'd like to know what off the grid cave you live in. I will likely be 80 still hearing this song somewhere. I think the meaning of the song itself is what makes this so strong. Two lovers trying to just get by is pretty well the story of the American dream. 

"Social Disease" threw some horns in because hey why not. The song feels just a little clunky in places with the melody. It feels like it wants to be a little bit of a soul song, like bluesier of sorts. It didn't quite meet the mark but I admire the attempt.

I have just never been that attracted to "Wanted Dead or Alive". It just sounds like a movie track for a John Wayne western. It doesn't make anything particularly wrong with it, it just feels like it doesn't fit on the album. It stands out like a sore thumb in the cohesion, and it is not just because it is a slower track. 

Another just letting it rock n roll type of track here, you know globally we gotta raise our hands. "Raise Your Hands" feels rather forgettable in the midst of things. I don't mind filler tracks personally. They're inoffensive, they don't take away from anything, and usually are a little catchy in the moment. You just really do not revisit them in the long run. Each time you play the album, it may feel like hearing a fresh song again. 

"Without Love" is a slower track that keeps the cohesion. Looking at you, Wanted Dead or Alive. A solid sentimental track, it doesn't add anything new to the whole love song game but it is something easy to get stuck in your head.

I love how dramatic "I'd Die For You", I mean it really meets the quota on that title. I am surprised this song doesn't get more traction. It seems like it was made for glam rock superstardom for the time.

"Never Say Goodbye" fits the quota well for a rock ballad. I think I still prefer Without Love for the rock ballad of the album, but I will take this one too. I think it will end up a little like "Raise Your Hands" in the long run.

The album closes with "Wild in the Streets" and it feels like a fitting closer. It wraps up a lot of the love and loss themes while bringing us back to track one. Would be easily able to flip this over and start the whole story again. 

LYRICS: 7/10 - There's some that fall flat and feel a bit fillery, but overall lyrically I think the album remains relatable, enjoyable, and sticks to its own guns.

MUSIC: 7/10 - I can see why this is perceived as a blueprint for hair metal. I like some of the experimentation I hear sonically though as well, even though I don't think all of it worked.

OVERALL: 7/10 - If you haven't listened, do it. If you own it, play it again. It is a very solid body of work that deserves a majority of the accolades it receives.