NEW RELEASE: The Tortured Poet's Department - Taylor Swift

 Did you think you could survive another tortured Taylor Swift release without hearing from ME? You must be kidding! You were probably waiting for this. 

Truthfully, I feared this album a bit. I was not sure how I felt about the drag fest about to happen to her ex. Turns out most of the album centers on...a different ex entirely and her regrets. It is full of unhinged confessions, almost like Blank Space made into an album. A rawness unnoticed from her passions since Speak Now. A sonic callback to many eras of her career from pieces of Red, to Evermore, to 1989. 

Let me stop for a moment. If you were expecting some particularly defining new moment...this album does not provide that. As a matter of fact, it feels more for long time fans to enjoy moreso than a casual listener. Actually, if you are one of those overly parasocial fans trying to tell Taylor how to exist...you actually might not like this either. She showed her teeth for better or worse. 

Fortnight features Post Malone. He is actually just a glorified background singer so don't worry, there's no rap. The opener originally confused me on first listen, but I think this song is about remorse for what was lost and can be never had now. Whoever gets this later...she is going to hate them...

The Tortured Poet's Department holds some of the cringiest lyrics of her career said with the most seriousness. Clearly a reference to her tatted golden retriever she had a brief fling with, it even tries to sound like a 1975 song. 

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys definitely references some back and forth struggles. Sometimes we wish things could have gone differently. We live in denials, trying to make those struggles a sign of love.

Down Bad is probably the most sonically unique of the sound pieces, and I mean...I am sure most of us considered crying at the gym. Or some public place. It feels like the sort of angst you throw yourself into a pillow to. 

So Long, London is actually crushing and immediately grabs the emotion. Losing something so meaingful, losing the place you love, feeling like the ending was pending. 

I will be screaming along to But Daddy I Love Him, in one hand because I love she took a moment to call her own fans vipers in empaths clothing. But also - it is very old Taylor sonically. The lyrics are unhinged and unexpected. 

Fresh Out the Slammer is kind of fillery in a way. I don't like all the sonic changes in the same song and the introduction doesn't feel like it fits the rest of the song.

I was initially afraid of hearing Florence's name next to Taylor. I love Florence Welch. Their voices did not seem like a match and also the thought of her being turned into the regular glorified backgroud singer annoyed me. My fears were unfound. This almost feels like a Florence song Taylor was part of. They actually do better than I imagined and it is a song of some real escapism.

Guilty as Sin is uh. Guilty for being a rather dirty themed track. Nevertheless it feels like a confession of not just her actions but her own sins - of at the very least - emotional cheating. 

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me sounds like a retrospective hatred of the way fame raised her and lamenting all the things said about her now. Definitely the song with the most passion behind it.

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) kind of feels lost in the mix - but it seems to create the walk into a humbling experience acceptance. Whoa...maybe I can't.

LOML might be one of the most crushing and sad songs on this album. The fire of the fling, the loss, and the painful acceptance of it being over forever now.

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart might be the most unhinged Taylor song I have ever listened to, but I am living for it. She really went for it. Being in the limelight can be a curse, but anyone in a position of having to be strong, I think will feel some of that pain. 

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived has an amazing climatic bridge that covers how somewhat too on the nose the verse lyrics are. Like that closing makes the entire song.

The Alchemy might be about a certain football player with all the sports references. I'm not sure it is her best love song but it does have some cuteness to it.

The closer Clara Bow recalls the reality that all big starlets will be replaced...and somewhere in that - there is freedom in that knowledge. 

MUSIC: 6/10 - The downfall of the album is a relegation to playing it safe sonically. To the point sometimes it is too cohesive and becomes very one note. You are either getting a 1989/Midnights synth production or a Red/Evermore guitarish driven run. There's no in between besides Down Bad.

LYRICS: 9/10 - This album is unhinged in all of the best ways.

TOTAL: 8/10 - I debated the rating. I think I am very drunk on the highs. The lows are not inherently bad, but rather forgettable. I think when the dust settles, it will be comparable to Red. We forgot the low notes but the album remains beloved for its finest gemstones. After all, how many of you actually remember Stay Stay Stay?